Friends are...

     Friends are essential in a person's life. Friends are the people who understand you and what you are going through because they are going through very similar experiences. Parents are there for you, they want to help, they love you no matter what, but they can't relate to you in the same way that your friends can. Friends can really help each other alleviate school, family, job, or any other stress. Friends are tough though. It is hard to find a really good friend. It's even harder to keep that person as your "really good friend" especially as you grow older and develop new interests and groups. I've lived in three states, so I know a lot about making friends. I have a pretty good idea as to what to look for in a friend. In North Carolina, I was pretty much everyone's friend. I lived in a small town where everyone knew everyone. It was annoying at times, but usually it was a lot of fun. There were many personalities in Lumberton. You had to get along with everyone and still be your own person and stick up for what you thought was right. By the first grade almost everyone had at least one enemy and one best friend. Strangely enough, the friendships would grow apart long before the enemies forgave each other... IF they forgave each other. It was kind of hard for me there because my family was very well known in the town, so everyone wanted to be my friend. That sounds like a good thing and it was, but it was hard for me to know who my true friends were. In kindergarten, I got into a fight with this girl....a fist fight (those weren't as uncommon in Lumberton as they are here). Well, from my end of it, it wasn't much of a fight because I didn't punch her back. My friend Jordan, with alacrity, stepped infront of me about 30 seconds into the fight. She continued the fight with the other girl for about 3 minutes (which is actually really short for a fight in elementary school in Lumberton) until the teacher came and gave us her edict to stop. That day I realized that Jordan was actually my friend, and she wasn't just hanging around me because I was "popular". Unlike the 10-15 kids who lolled around appalled at the fight take place, Jordan knew that I would never hit the other girl back, and so she risked both getting in trouble and getting beaten up to try to stop the other girl. The droll thing is, we had become friends just a few days before that incident. Before that, we were very dissonant. Our personalities at first seemed to be antitheses, so we were usually pretty bellicose. She helped me realize that your friends aren't just the people who you play with on the playground, invite to your parties, work on group projects with, or go see movies with on the weekends, but the people who you can count on. They are there for you when no one else is. However, you don't just get those friends. You have to be the friend you want to have. I never stepped infront of Jordan in a fight because I didn't have to, but I did hold her or someone else back from one. A friendship is two sided. You get what you dish out. You can't disparage your friends and then get mad when they do it to you. It's hard to elucidate what friends are because who your friends are really depends on who you are. In my opinion, true friends are magnanimous. They laud your accomplishments, but they don't ditch or rescind on you in your nondescript moments. Whether they are loquacious, phlegmatic, or vivacious, their personality is a good match for yours and they whet you, rather than put you down. They do not make anything mandatory because in friendships, respect is key. Friends are...essential. Friends are fun to be around. True friends are dependable.

Song: Lean on Me by: Bill Withers